Should you accept gifts from people when you know they are not heartfelt?
MissDee asked:
If you know someone does not like you, and they give you something let’s just say a gift for your birthday, or because you had a baby, wedding etc, or if they throw a celebration for you for whatever. You know it is not heartfelt and they just did it because people told them that they should do this for you because of the position they are in. Do you accept these gifts? Not show up for these phony people parties? Pretending to appreciate you when YOU KNOW that they really don’t?
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If you know someone does not like you, and they give you something let’s just say a gift for your birthday, or because you had a baby, wedding etc, or if they throw a celebration for you for whatever. You know it is not heartfelt and they just did it because people told them that they should do this for you because of the position they are in. Do you accept these gifts? Not show up for these phony people parties? Pretending to appreciate you when YOU KNOW that they really don’t?
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A gift is a gift. You accept it until things start getting out of line. In your case, just accept the gifts. If the person doesn’t like you, it is just their money that they are wasting. Let them waste it on you if that is what they think they need to do. You know, get a little revenge, even if it is in a small way. Don’t let stupid people scare you, just ignore them and pretend you don’t even notice.
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I totally understand that you think it may be hypocritical but the giving of gifts and celebrations of that sort are a social norm. It doesn’t make sense to rock the boat unless you plan to upset a lot of people in the process and you really should pick your battles. But believe me, I agree with you its awful to accept feigned affection, false kindness or forced generosity. It irks me when I have to do it but you get accustomed and just try to take it with the best smile you can muster.
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we cant burn our bridges. a lot of friendships will get phony as you get older, just keep face, accept these gifts and give the equivalent back.
You’d be kind of a jerk to not accept them